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doctordachshund:

Split or cut in half, serve with strawberry jam and Devonshire clotted or whipped double cream


via: doctordachshund  / source: doctordachshund
via: delzdesigns  / source: ultrafunnypictures

slovvbro:

staayyggolden:

slovvbro:

What if the 4th of July was on Friday the 13th D:

Whose the fucking idiot who said this? How can u have two dates together?

have u ever fuckin heard of a double date


via: pythagayoreantheorem  / source: slovvbro

burgrs:

my mom is telling me “get a good job” but my heart is telling me “marry rich”


via: pythagayoreantheorem  / source: burgrs
via: lukefluff  / source: its-anselelgort

I want to be someone’s favorite person to talk to.

(Source: via-slimshady)


via: lukefluff  / source: via-slimshady
mccooooooooooooooooooooooooooooy:

thedavesofourlives:

teach your kids to be conspirators at a young age

part of the night vale elementary first grade curriculum

mccooooooooooooooooooooooooooooy:

thedavesofourlives:

teach your kids to be conspirators at a young age

part of the night vale elementary first grade curriculum


(Source: sociogrind)


via: lukefluff  / source: sociogrind

(Source: towritepoems)


via: seliphra  / source: towritepoems

burgrs:

I failed my final because a GIRL sitting next to me was wearing a TANK TOP ad i saw her sholders and got distracted all the blood in my brain went to my huge Dong


via: tightvaginas  / source: burgrs

hepmonrey:

thegeeksloveme:

He gives me life.

coolest people on earth


gentlemanbones:

samurott:

*blows kiss down to the ground (for the skeletons)*

image

(Source: raidoucoolzunoha)


magalomania:

edprinzawesome:

his face……

The man just wants to feel cute. He doesn’t understand the laughter.

(Source: prettyprettyday)


I’ve discovered there’s a lot you can do inside haunted houses.

fictionalfeather:

For example, you can:

  • be in a shampoo commercial

image

  • start a boy band:

image

  • spot some choice booty:

image

  • break into song:

image

  • see some people in frankly offensive outfits:

image

  • attend a metal show:

image

  • listen to some sick jams:

image

  • discover zombieism:

image

  • sample some tasty snacks:

image

  • watch someone get burned bad:

image

  • find something you really like:

image

  • find something you really, really like:

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  • find something you REALLY REALLY LIKE:

image

  • and wonder if you left the stove on:

image


heatoise:

*sees a dog*

me: nice

*PETS a dog*

me: NICE


via: pythagayoreantheorem  / source: heatoise